Last weekend I flew to Hong Kong on short notice to do a spot in a Christmas show for overly wealthy Chinese people. I got the first call late Wednesday night, and didn’t have the contract confirmed until Friday afternoon five hours before my plane was to leave Chiang Kai Shek international airport. I rushed my ass to the airport, prop case in tow. They had bought me a ticket on China Airlines which I’d never before flown. However I had read that their past safety record isn’t exactly stellar. This was confirmed on the bus ride to the airport when I was chatting with a Taiwanese girl who works for American Airlines. She told me the Taiwanese say that China Air crashes a plane every four years. Luckily for me they’re not due until next year.
The flight was uneventful. China Airlines appears to employ the Taiwanese women’s basketball team during their off-season. They’ve got some tall flight attendants, especially by Taiwanese standards. 
I arrived in Hong Kong at about eleven (I’d have flown directly to Macau but all the flights were full). Wilson my contract from the production company met me at the airport and took me to the ferry terminal where we hopped on one of the fast ferries to Macau. The ride was about an hour, after which I was ready for my bed. Alas, I was working for a production company that doesn’t appear to appreciate the importance of rested performers. Instead of to the hotel, they took me to the venue where I was to demonstrate my skills to the people who had hired the company to book the event.
Let me fill you in on the event details. Macau is growing quite quickly. China Overseas Development Corporation is in the midst of building a massive, incredibly ritzy real estate complex. The Christmas party was to thank those individuals who had purchased units in advance. There was a band, a Cantonese pop star of some description, a guest appearance by some Hong Kong television celebrity, and myself. It was all hosted by a Hong Kong radio personality. The company is VERY detail oriented. I kid you not when I say that they had four people washing the fountain in front of their building with TOOTHBRUSHES.
So it was at 2:30 in the morning, after flying from Taipei to Hong Kong and taking a ferry to Macau, that I was to demonstrate my skills to representatives of the Chinese Overseas Development Corporation. Needless to say I wasn’t pleased, and I tried to make it obvious without being rude that at 2:30 am after traveling from another country I wasn’t prepared to do a show, nor would it be possible to approximate a performance situation without an audience. Regardless I showed them a few things and gave some ideas as to what my portion of the show could consist of. They made up their mind as to which bits they wanted me to do and took me to the hotel. I got to bed at 4. The mosquitoes kept me up until 5.
The next day was a blur. It started with me going to a tailor to make me some stilt pants (the people who hired me REALLY wanted me to walk on stilts). Then I went to the venue, warmed up, worked on the stage a bit (it was way too small) and waited for show time. After the audience arrived I did about 7 minutes of stilt walkabout to please the boss man. During the show they were constantly giving away prizes like Sony PSP’s, DVD players, stereos and whatnot. I couldn’t help but think that anyone who can afford to buy a H.K$3 million condo doesn’t need a free PSP. My bit was a technical devilstick routine which went over well, an interactive ring piece with a kid from the audience, and an interactive club juggling bit with a few volunteers. It went fine. I learned that rich Chinese people make the most boring volunteers one could possibly have in a show, but overall it was fine.
After the show the folks from the production company took me to a restaurant to celebrate. It was some sort of Tai/Cantonese restaurant. We had a few seafood hot pots which were absolutely incredible. I’ve never seen so much seafood in one dish. It was cooked at the table in a deliciously spicy sauce. Interestingly the restaurant staff brought all the dishes and a pot of just boiled steaming water with some tongs. The guests wash their own dishes at the table in the hot water, I guess its to assure them that their dishes are indeed clean. Hampson, the boss man from the production company, bought a few bottles of really strong rice liquor of some sort which we were all forced to drink in toast after toast. This continued until I was more drunk than I’ve been in a very long time, and Wilson my contact at the production company fell off his chair. After Wilson fell off his chair he and Hampson had to have a drinking contest so that Wilson could save face, and demonstrate that he was still in control of his faculties (which he certainly was not). I got to bed too late.
I spent the next afternoon in Hong Kong. I had a look around in an antique market where I got a few souvenirs. 
I also stumbled upon some ridiculously cheap clothing sales where I picked up a few things. Then I strolled downtown to have a look around. I heard chanting in the distance and remembered that Sunday was the final day of the WTO meeting, and thus the final day of the anti-globalization rallies. I quickly shoved my bag full of low-wage labour produced clothing out of sight and tried to look more like I hate the man. The night before there had been quite violent riots, and I didn’t want my Kenneth Cole bag and Donald J. Pliner shoes to get me in any trouble with the rent-a-mob. The demonstration I stumbled upon turned out to be by the Filipino migrant worker’s association. I listened to some chanting, and watched a traditional dance. The demonstration taught me that Hong Kong has a lot of Filipino domestic workers, and that they think the WTO should ‘go down.’
I flew home last night, late and tired, but overall happy that I’d gone.
The Lunar New Year is just about here, and the grocery stores are full of gift boxes of whiskey and other liquors. I'm a sucker for fancy packaging and big boxes I don't need, so I was checking out the selection this evening. Most of the more popular brands were represented (ie. Johnny Walker, Glenfiddich, Suntori, etc). This one in particular caught my eye and distinguished itself from the rest as a "Product of World." I reckon that's a very globalized way of looking at product origin. It's quite fair to everyone really. I imagine the residents of Burundi are oftentimes pissed at never seeing "Product of Burundi" on bottles of whiskey. Well the marketers of "Special Reserve Deluxe" have solved that problem and created a product which they can happily market everywhere without angering anyone (besides those customers who actually want to know which country their whiskey was made in). They needn't worry about potential nationalistic antagonism determining customer buying patterns. Everyone (excluding aliens who may prefer the extra-terrestrial stuff) can proudly buy and display bottles of "Special Reserve Deluxe" knowing it comes from the best damned liquor producing planet in the solar system.
I'm soliciting rat killing tips. I was recently up all night chasing one of the bastards around my bedroom. For quite a while we've known that we've got a friendly rat who visits our kitchen in search of snacks. I don't mind provided he doesn't eat my stuff. But I do mind him monkeying around in my room. It's noisy, obnoxious, and I can't keep my inner hypochondriac from worrying about bubonic plague and the like. I bought these sticky rat traps, but they're crap. Either that or I'm crap at strategically placing them. I think he comes in through the window, so today I put one on the outside window sill. I envision him stepping on it, getting stuck, and then disloding the trap from the sill sending it plummeting four floors to land rat and all on one of my neighbour's head's. That'd be sweet.