Infrequent Nights

I look upon Shi Da's Chinese Language and Culture Program partially as a tool of Taiwanese aggrandisement. The most popularly used text is quite overtly patriotic. Moreover, the sheer number of scholarship students, such as myself, suggests an attempt to build an army of people who's perception of Taiwan has been heavily influenced by the free money, and relaxed life style. My favourite aspect of this exercise is the maps placed in every single classroom at the Language Center. Every room has one map of Taiwan, and one map of the World. They are identical in every room. The Map of Taiwan (R.O.C.) is quite unremarkable, with little worth commenting upon. The World map at first glance appears to be the same, unremarkable in every way.

That is until one takes a closer inspection. The first thing you're likely to notice is that Taiwan is part of China on this particular map. This isn't particularly noteworthy as this was the official government stance for decades and of course is an opinion still held by a not insignificant minority. Beijing is referred to as Beiping, effectively changing the meaning from Northern Capital to Northern Peace. Fair enough, we wouldn't want the illigetimate commie/fascist government center to be considered the capital. This too is unsurprising, the GMD tried for years to get people to call Beijing, Beiping, and some do.

What is remarkable are the flags surrounding the map. There are flags of all the nations of the world, except of course the PRC. Smack in the middle is the flag of the Republic of China. It's in a special box, reserved for Taiwan and one special friend. Now, maps are often subject to slight nuances depending upon their country of origin. American maps usually put America in the centre, and use projection methods which make the USA look bigger than it really is. Some eccentrics in the Southern Hemisphere flip the standard map upside down orienting the South Pole at the top and the North Pole at the bottom. These are somewhat silly, but understandable idiosyncrasies. This particular map's idiosyncrasy is perhaps more nuanced, but equally as silly. For some unknown reason in the middle of all these flags, twice the size of all the other flags, are the flags of the ROC and the United Nations side by side in their box of happiness. I have tried to reconstruct in my head the rationalization that went into this design feature, but have as of yet been unable to produce a satisfactory line of thought:

Cartographer: Right, so here's your map. As you can see I've put Asia in the middle, that's standard for maps around here. Anything else you want before I send this puppy to the printer?
Publisher: Well, we were thinking we could have, I dunno, flags all around the outside. So like, if you want to know what a country's flag looks like, it's right there.
Cartographer: Sure we can do that. Lots of people like flags on their maps. Makes sense really. You want 'em alphabetical or what?
Publisher: Well the order really doesn't matter. But we want a box in the middle for the Republic of China, OK?
Cartographer: Sure thing. You're the boss.
Publisher: No make the box a bit bigger. Let's put two flags in there.
Cartographer: Ummm...OK. Who else? America? They're a good friend and ally, plus they've got a really pretty flag. I like stars.
Publisher: We were thinking the United Nations.
Cartographer: You mean that pasty powder blue thing with the weird laurel leaves?
Publisher: That's the one.
Cartographer:: What the hell? They kicked us out! We're not even a member country! Why would we put their flag in the box of honour. That doesn't make any sense.
Publisher: Yeah, but you know...maybe...well, maybe they'll see on the map that our flags are friends, then they'll wanna be friends too. Then we can be a member country again.
Cartographer: What the hell is wrong with you? That makes absolutely no sense. I can think of no good reason to put Taiwan's flag beside the flag of the UN. If anything it just draws attention to our status as a pariah nation.
Publisher: But I like blue.
Cartographer: Yeah well I like Pamela Anderson. You don't see me putting her in a box.
Publisher: YOU! Insolent Cartographer! You will obey me now! The ROC & UN will be friends forever in our flag box of happiness. I will do anything to fulfill my quest. I would bear Kofi Annan's love child if I thought it woud help, and if I didn't lack basic female reproductive organs. Print my map!

Posted by Ryan at 11:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

My tip of the day to Taiwanese marketers: If you absolutely insist on naming a condo project "Blog" because you like the way it sounds, you would be well served to at least register the domain name that you plaster all over the adverts. The geniuses who thought up this marketing campaign have "http://www.myblog.com" on all of their promotional material. If you take a trip to myblog.com you'll quickly realize that is in no way affiliated with this large condo project. It's just (as one would expect) a blog service. How the marketing gurus sold this idea to the rich real estate developers, I have no idea.

Marketer: "So we've got a great name for the new building: Shi Da Blog! Whadda you think? Pretty hip huh?"
Developer: "That sounds very hip indeed. The word blog is so hip and youthful."
Marketer: "We can also have a website."
Developer: "Yeah everybody has websites these days. What'll ours be?"
Marketer: "Myblog.com. How's that sound?"
Developer: "That's great! I can't believe we can get myblog.com, such a great name for my new multi-million dollar condo website!"
Marketer: "Welllll...we can't ACTUALLY get myblog.com, but we can write myblog.com on all our posters! It'll look great!"
Developer: "We can do that?"
Marketer: "Sure, why not?
Developer: "Well common sense would dictate that if we have a huge marketing campaign including massive four story tall billboards that we put a domain name for our OWN website on it."
Marketer: "Yes, but this isn't common sense. This is hip-sense. And trust me my hippness sense is hipper than yours."
Developer: "Man, I'm so glad we hired a hip marketing company. I'm so damned hip. 'Myblog.com.' Damn that's hip. 'Shi Da Blog' what a hip sounding building. If we didn't have you guys around to be hip for us, we'd have ended up putting our OWN domain name on the promo. How un-hip would that have been? Phew!"

Posted by Ryan at 05:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (5)

Today I went to the zoo. I’m normally not a big fan of zoos. I don’t like seeing all those animals caged up. Some I don’t mind. I couldn't care less if a fish or a turtle is in a tank, but I don’t like seeing owls stuck in little rooms where they can’t fly around. However I’m a big fan of monkeys. I find them endlessly entertaining. My favorite, for obvious reasons, was the Crab Eating Macaque. Not obvious you say? Try pretending you’re a French tour guide pointing out monkeys to your guests. Now say this three times with a really thick French accent: “There’s a crab eating macaque.”

This just goes to show that puerile humor is funnier with a French accent.

Posted by Ryan at 11:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

While there are some indicators of beauty which seem to exist as culturally independent truisms, there are others which are specific to certain regions, classes, and cultures. Here in Taiwan fair skin is a highly prized feature sought after by most image conscious women. These women are willing to submit themselves to various inconveniences, and discomforts to either make their skin appear paler, or at least prevent it from becoming darkened. The majority of women here use parasols when walking out of doors. This is an understandable tradition, as it not only keeps one pale but it also helps keep one cool. However I have observed women taking their parasol (which doubles as an umbrella on rainy days) out of their bags, opening it up, and holding it above their heads so that they may cross a three meter long un-shaded space without having the sun’s direct rays fall upon their skin. This strikes me as rather inconvenient and even slightly obsessive. Others wear scarves over their faces and seemingly ridiculously large sun visors atop their heads. Both are again somewhat practical as the scarves help filter out pollution, and the visors do provide some pleasant shade. Still others, while riding on their ubiquitous scooters, wear a jacket backwards to cover their arms, and any chest that may be exposed by a low-rising shirt. This one just strikes me as being an uncomfortable hassle. However, having not ridden on a scooter here, there may be some practical reasoning which escapes me. For those who are not content with their present complexion there are a multitude of creams and other medicinals available to help lighten one’s skin to a more eye-pleasing shade. These are aggressively marketed on television, in the MRT, and on billboards about town.

What I find interesting about this particular aesthetic is what it has to say about Taiwanese culture. The particular traits which we find attractive express certain values held by our culture. In the West, unlike here in Taiwan, being tanned is a highly sought after attribute. People go to great lengths to attain, and subsequently retain, a tanned complexion. Entire industries are predicated upon Western individuals' desire to be tanned. This hasn’t always been the case. In the past the West’s perception of beautiful skin was more similar to that held here in Taiwan: Fairer is better. A fair complexion used to indicate that one had no need to work out of doors. The labouring masses were destined to darken as they worked on fields and farms. Upper-class individuals could afford to avoid the sun and out of doors as much as they pleased. At some point in time in the West this perception changed. I posit that the rise of indoor working environments and sheltered late twentieth-century living gave rise to the attractiveness of the tan. A good tan now subconsciously informs us that an individual has either the time or money necessary to lay about in the sun or in a tanning booth acquiring their attractive complexion. An uneven ‘Farmer’s’ tan is not considered attractive. But a surfer’s consistent complexion tells us that he can afford to spend hours out in the sun with his shirt off enjoying life instead of being locked up in an office trying to pay the bills. The same logic applies to long nails, and bound feet. An individual with long nails obviously doesn’t need to pick cabbage for a living. It is a visual marker of class status. Bound feet are an especially interesting marker, as they essentially cripple a woman so as to indicate the status of her family. This crippling, and to modern eyes unappealing, body modification was highly sought after by contemporary Han Chinese men as an attractive physical attribute.

I reckon the Taiwanese attraction to fair skin stems from the same initial reasoning as the, now outdated, Western attraction to fair skin did. Fair skin used to mean upper class. In the same way that renaissance paintings glorify the beauty of larger pear-shaped women, so do Taiwanese ad campaigns glorify the beauty of pale skinned models. However the renaissance masterpieces were painted during an era of scant resources in Europe. To be large was the exception. Here in Taiwan it is now easy to avoid the sun at almost all times. Most people spend the majority of their day indoors or at least in the shade, which is very cleverly assured via the local sub-tropical architecture. Thus individuals, to be an exceptional beauty, must go to great lengths to become paler than would naturally appear. They avoid all contact with sunlight, they use whitening creams, and generously apply light shades of makeup. The result is an interesting visual spectacle and a cultural marker which can help us appreciate the historical background for our, sometimes seemingly arbitrary, perceptions of beauty.

Posted by Ryan at 08:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

The other day, as class was about to begin, an air raid siren sounded. Or at least it sounded like an air raid siren. Nothing seemed to happen immediately. I listened for fire engines, or police cars, or other sounds of an emergency response. Nothing came and so I shrugged off the siren sounds as an anomalous foreign noise. Shortly thereafter a small man walked into our classroom, switched off the lights and air conditioning, and walked away without saying a word. I saw him do the same thing in the room across the hall. A girl in the room opposite to us stood up and, with a confused look on her face, turned the lights back on. She was immediately berated by the small man, who returned to turn her lights off and reprimand her insolence.

This piqued my curiosity. Something strange was afoot. When our teacher arrived she placed her fingers over her lips and made a shushing sound. Using a dry-erase marker she wrote ‘Raid Alarm’ on the board. She whispered “no class, twenty minutes, no lights, no air conditioning…Raid Alarm.” Apparently Taiwan holds occasional raid alarms to ensure readiness in case of an attack by the Mainland. During these alarms we turn off the lights and air conditioning and sit quietly in our classrooms. Exactly why we do this I’m not sure. Maybe Taiwan needs all of the available electricity for defense efforts? Perhaps they have some sort of technologically advanced, power thirsty, anti-communist ray gun. As for our need to remain quiet, I suppose it is to inculcate a sense of calmness in the event of attack. If the raid were to ever become reality, having the lay-people trained to sit quietly in darkened rooms would be preferable to having them running about the streets panicking and yelling about the raiding commies.

The occurrence made me giggle. However, it also made me stop and think for a moment. An invasion of Taiwan by Mainland China is, of course, no laughing matter. The People’s Republic takes their perceived territorial integrity and subsequent irredentist claims seriously. The CCP seems resolute about the repatriation of Taiwan. The cross-straits military teeter-totter is increasingly teetering in the favour of the Mainland. One hopes that the growing relations between the two regions help to mitigate the possibility of conflict in the future. The business, familial, and political ties which are being renewed and newly developed between the two regions should be encouraged by both governments involved, and by the international community at large.

One would hope that in the not too distant future it won't be necessary for Taiwan to hold raid alarms. Hopefully Taiwan's current state of international limbo can be sorted out in a way advantageous to all parties involved. In the meantime I guess I have the occasional darkened classroom to look forward to, as a country (for lack of a more appropriate term) prepares itself for the possibility of an invasion or missile attack.

Posted by Ryan at 02:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)