Eureka.
It has occurred to me that I have exactly as many girlfriends as I have motorcycles. That is to say, zero. Zero girlfriends. Zero motorcycles. If I've learned one thing from Hollywood it is that "Chicks Dig Motorcycles." While I absorbed this information at an early age, it hadn't occurred to me until today that my present bachelorhood was explicable by my lack of two-wheeled motor-powered transportation. But, upon further reflection it seems obvious that these two paucities are in fact related. Why else would I be single if not because I have no motorcycle? I certainly can't fathom why...