Infrequent Nights

I went to Tainan last weekend. The excuse to go was to see a band, but I also needed to get out of Taipei. There are a number of ways one can get to Tainan from Taipei quickly and efficiently. I chose the bus. It's cheap, and for the most part they're comfortable. Plus on Guoguang buses they give you complimentary cup of "Holy Water" so that you can defeat vampires, and banish demons should they board the bus. The ride takes four or five hours. Mine was slightly lengthened by the breakdown of a bus in Taichong, but I really can't complain as they dealt with it faster than could have been expected.

In Tainan I was whisked off to a little Shaolin body readjustment centre where a Gongfu master of some sort did some major rearranging of my body. It's a little 'center' (for lack of a better word) run by a father/son Shaolin duo. The son readjusted me. He had me stand, and after a short inspection declared that I had fallen at around the age of 15-16 (quite possible) and it had thrown my hips out of whack. Then his Dad came in and, in passing, glanced at my back and said exactly the same thing. They said that after my readjustment I'll gain weight. I said that while I doubt their prediction my grandmother will thank them if it comes true.

I laid on a mat. He pulled and cracked and shifted things around. Then he did some sort of electro-massage, which was interesting if not pleasant.

Later I came across a street party. It was apparently for the benefit of a local temple. And when temples down south have a benefit party they of course celebrate with a good pole dancing party. They've got these portable pole dancing optimus-prime-style transforming truck stages that will bring the party to you. They simply park on the street, unfold like a transformer, hook up the PA and away you go. The pole dancing was raunchy, and the skill of the dancers left much to be desired, but it was entertaining. If you happen to pass a pole dancing truck I recommend stopping for a gander. Just don't take pictures. Really. Do not let them know you have a camera. Or the chief dancer/singer/matron will use the opportunity to practice her English by unleashing a barrage of screams "NO NO NO I SAY NO! NONONONONO!!!!" I honestly feared for my safety. I thought she might jump off of the stage and pummel my head into the pavement. Luckily she had temple goers to please, and couldn't waste her time dealing with an ignorant foreigner.

I rode around on a bike. Took some photos. Spent too much time on the back of a too small scooter. And enjoyed the pleasant weather. It's been raining here in Taipei for what seems like forever. Tainan was clear and sunny with a distinct lack of oppressive humidity.