Infrequent Nights

I'll not go into an indepth argument here about why Canada would be well served by a change in the electoral process. I'll just post the numbers from this past election as I think they speak for themselves:

CON 124 36.25%
LIB 103 30.22%
BQ 51 10.48%
NDP 29 17.49%
IND 1 .52%
OTH 0 5.05%

Have a look at the BQ and NDP numbers. The BQ managed 51 seats on 10.48% of the national vote, whilst the NDP only pulled in 29 seats on their 17.49% of the popular vote. While this is an improvement for the NDP over last time around, it aptly demonstrates the advantage a single member plurality system gives to regionally concentrated interest groups. While I agree there should be regional interest representation in the Canadian political system, there should also be greater representation of groups spread across the Canadian map. Canada is oft plagued by regionalism which has threatened on numerous occasions to break up the federation. A shift in electoral system could help mitigate these regionalizing influences, while convincing people their votes are not wasted on "no hope" candidates.

Posted by Ryan at 6:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

The textbook series we use has a collection of what are probably the least entertaining cartoons I have ever laid eyes on. I particularly (dis)liked this one, which does an excellent job of demonstrating the artist's perception of whiteys. The Asian fellow on the left asks "Aren't you cold, I'm already wearing a sweater." The silly Aryan holds up his unnaturally hairy foreigner arms and replies "I'm not cold at all, see I have my own built in sweater."

Posted by Ryan at 9:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

If you're at all like me then you're sick and tired of losing your pig in the dark. Well, enterprising National Taiwan University scientists have solved our pig-losing problems by combining fluorescent jellyfish DNA with average farm pigs. The result? Glow in the dark pigs (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/4605202.stm). Not your run of the mill glow in the dark pigs either. These porkers glow inside and out. Even their organs emit a greenish aura. That's right, NTU will not settle for second rate glowing pigs. And I say it's about time. I've had to suffer long enough without access to high quality glowing pigs. I'm really glad the demand for luminiscent swine has finally been recognized.

Hopefully they'll have these guys on the market by Easter time so I can bring a few home. They'll be a boon to Northern farmers forced to go months without adequate sunlight. Not only will it make keeping track of one's pigs that much easier, it'll reduce electricity costs to light barns. Best of all we can finally have greased pig catching competitions in the dark, and add pyrotechnic effects. The run of the mill county fair greased pig catching competitions are fun, but they need something to spice up their product for the youth entertainment market. Glowing pigs are just the ticket.

Posted by Ryan at 9:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Today's IHT has a good report about the growing popularity of Chinese as a second language: http://www.iht.com/articles/2006/01/11/news/china.php. I think it's great the language is gaining such popularity. I just hope these 'Confucius Institutes' don't use the PRC state published Chinese as a Second Language texts I was using in Canada: The "New Practical Chinese Reader" series. There are many better texts out there, including the one used at my school.

It's a fine series of texts really. I've enjoyed using them for the past few months. The only shortcoming is in the production of the VCDs. For some reason, I reckon because they hired a poor audio technician while they were shooting, they've dubbed over all the dialogue with stuff taped in studio. The music is humorous, and the acting is (as is to be expected) hilariously inept. My favorite bits are the completely out of context montages between different sections of a lesson. The lesson I'm currently studying has a montage glorifying the Taiwanese army. This photo is a screen capture from the video. I'm not exactly sure what these soldiers are doing here, but I like to think that they're saluting the Generalissimo.

This lesson's second montage includes a voice over describing the plight of poor Taiwanese students, forced by their parents to study overseas. Apparently as time passes and these students live away from the calming and purifying influences of Taiwanese family and culture they turn to smoking and later mugging overseas Chinese ladies on the street. That is if the video is to be believed.

The video also has great examples of how to use the grammar we're studying. Our current lesson shows a man waiting at a table frustrated and hungry looking. When his wife FINALLY arrives with the food he uses a new sentence pattern to berate her saying "Two hours and you only made me three dishes!?!" The book and VCDs are full of entertaining gender sterotypes and examples of how to express them using one's newly acquired Chinese. I can only hope that the Mainland's international language centers do such a good job teaching people to express their admiration for the wisdom of the dictatorship of the masses.

Posted by Ryan at 2:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I sent a short letter off to the Taipei Times about a month ago about the scandal regarding DPP vote buying. I forgot about it as soon as I sent it off. Until now I hadn't gotten around to checking to see whether they'd published it or not. Apparently they did: http://www.taipeitimes.com/News/editorials/archives/2005/12/04/2003282957.

Posted by Ryan at 8:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

My school, and all Chinese language schools in Taiwan (to my knowlege) teach traditional Chinese characters. They're the official characters here in Taiwan. The other day in class our teacher mistakenly used a simplified character when writing on the board. This isn't unheard of. Taiwanese often use simplified versions of some characters when they're handwriting, and in a rush. Nonetheless one of the Japanese students had a bit of a giggle, and said something like "just like on the mainland." Well this produced an incredible outburst from the teacher. She lept to the defense of her simplified character usage and said everything she could to disassociate it with the mainland. She began to shout "They're not from the mainland! All Chinese use simplified Characters! It has NOTHING to do with the Mainland!" This was both entertaining and educational. I was entertained by her few minutes of tirade, and learned that one had best be careful when making comparisons to the Mainland. Some people can get pretty worked up about the topic.

Posted by Ryan at 8:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

The Lunar New Year is just about here, and the grocery stores are full of gift boxes of whiskey and other liquors. I'm a sucker for fancy packaging and big boxes I don't need, so I was checking out the selection this evening. Most of the more popular brands were represented (ie. Johnny Walker, Glenfiddich, Suntori, etc). This one in particular caught my eye and distinguished itself from the rest as a "Product of World." I reckon that's a very globalized way of looking at product origin. It's quite fair to everyone really. I imagine the residents of Burundi are oftentimes pissed at never seeing "Product of Burundi" on bottles of whiskey. Well the marketers of "Special Reserve Deluxe" have solved that problem and created a product which they can happily market everywhere without angering anyone (besides those customers who actually want to know which country their whiskey was made in). They needn't worry about potential nationalistic antagonism determining customer buying patterns. Everyone (excluding aliens who may prefer the extra-terrestrial stuff) can proudly buy and display bottles of "Special Reserve Deluxe" knowing it comes from the best damned liquor producing planet in the solar system.

Posted by Ryan at 11:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Happy New Year. My New Year’s eve was spent half naked, painted red, with a flaming stick in my hands. I did a gig for the Ministry of Sound. They had their New Year’s Eve party at the New Taipei Arena. I did a few spots of fire juggling on stage for them to help add to the festive atmosphere. It was an alright gig. There’s nothing like seeing thousands of faces staring at you in a semi-intoxicated state of appreciation to stoke one’s ego. My most memorable moment of the evening was trying to wash off the body paint, while the Go-go dancer on E in the shower beside me squirmed around on the floor giggling like a school girl. The water was too hot to stand under so he was using the slightly cooled floor water to try to get the makeup off. After showering he walked around the backstage area buck naked for about 25 minutes striking up conversations with whomever he could. My New Year’s resolution is go the rest of the year without wearing so much makeup that I’m washing it out of my bodily crevices for three days.

Posted by Ryan at 10:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)