Infrequent Nights

1. Open hours: 0400 am till 2200 pm.

2. Person, with (in) following conditions will not be admitted:

A. Vehicle (except bady carriage and vehicles of retarded person) and peddler.
B. Drunkard, causing trouble or uproar, drug addict.
C. With animals.
D. Carrying hazardous.

A. Picking flower/leave, stem of plants and destroying plant specimen without permission.
B. Destroying facilities of the Garden.
C. Climbing fence or entening planting area without due permission.
D. Washing, playing, fishing, catching fish or frog in acquaie plant pond.
F. Spitting, relieving, dropping paper, fruit peel, cigarette bud and wastes at wish.
G. Naked, dress indecently, pestilent, gambling, malconduct.
H. Lying down on the ground, sleeping on open yard.
I. Making noise and causing trouble, offending public orders.
J. Playingballs, drilling, actspreventingtheactivitesofpublictouringandpassingthroughof pedestrians.
K. Lighting firecracker/fireworks.
L. Staying in the graden over time limit.
M. Drawing in the graden over the time limit.
N. Selling merchandise, begging.
O. Drying clothes that affecring the garden view.
P. Other infringment failing to listen to the guidance of administrator

4. All gathering, film shooting and other group academic activity shall apply and secure approval to the garden before conduct.

5. Damaging any plant or other facilities, in addition to the governing of laws, shall also compensate the damage caused.

Posted by Ryan at 12:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

While Taiwan does a better job than many Asian countries when it comes to copyright protection, one can still buy unofficial versions of just about any software on the streets. It’s an interesting endeavour involving dodgy exchanges of money, and packages left for pickup. First one must go to the tech district in Taipei. This neighbourhood is crammed with technology shops large and small. They sell just about any techy contraption or gadget one could want. The shops are lined up along the streets. Pirated software vendors usually have a table on the sidewalk outside their shop with sheets of paper detailing their illicit offerings. Nobody attends these tables directly. The employee usually stands at a distance watching the table so he can deal with potential customers when they arrive, while staying far enough away to be able to hoof it if the federalees arrive.

When one wants a particular type of software he simply needs to look for a table advertising it. Once the software vendor is found, standing around the table for a while will bring over the stall owner. I recommend haggling over price as these guys will quote way higher than what they’ll take. Once one agrees on price the stall owner will probably tell the customer to give the money to a kid who will be standing a few metres away watching the transaction. After the kid gets the money he’ll jog off to the secret safe house where they keep all the CDs full of illicit software. About five minutes later the kid will return with a little bag. He’ll make eye contact with the customer and place the bag in a conspicuous place walking away with a secretive nod. The customer then simply needs to pick up his purchase and go home to install his new software. It’s a deal if one doesn’t mind subverting international copyright laws and learning the names of menu options in Chinese. Plus, for a few minutes, it makes one feel like an international man of mystery.

Posted by Ryan at 12:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Prior to this week I didn't realize nipple pigmentation was an issue. Apparently it is. I saw this box of "Nipple Pigment Lightening Gel" at my local drug store. It isn't cheap either. Around $450NT/box. To put that in perspective I spend an average of $70-100NT for a restaurant meal. I wonder how many boxes of this stuff one needs to go through before their nipples are acceptably lightened? Furthermore, I wonder if one can lighten other bits of their body? Maybe I could get make certain parts of my anatomy more appealing by adding some pale polka dots. I'm well aware of the importance many Taiwanese women attach to skin colour, but I hadn't realized the concern was this detail oriented. I wish I'd gone into chemistry so I could be the guy who, when asked, gets to say: "Oh me? I make nipple lightening gel for a living."

Posted by Ryan at 12:36 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I've had a busy past week. I spent most of the week catching up on school after slacking off to go to Macau. On Friday I did a show for Shi Da's student Christmas party. It went well, considering it was the first time I'd really used Chinese on stage for a whole set. I got offered another gig after it, so I guess I can't have been too crap. The next day I used some Christmas money graciously sent to me by my oh so wonderful Grandmother (thank you Nana) to help me purchase an absolutely fantastic Christmas present. It's a new Dynax 5D (also known as a Maxxum 5D in North America) Digital SLR.

I'm over the moon with it. It's everything I could want a camera to be. I've put a few photos up in the gallery. Unfortunately the dimensions of images on my new camera are different than the old one, so the lay out is a bit wonky. I'll try to fix it at a later date.

While I didn't get to spend the holidays with my family as I would have been able to in a perfect world, I had a very nice day in Wu Lai tromping around with some friends, eating street food, and relaxing in the hot springs.

I hope everyone else has a nice late December holiday season/New Year.

Posted by Ryan at 01:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Last weekend I flew to Hong Kong on short notice to do a spot in a Christmas show for overly wealthy Chinese people. I got the first call late Wednesday night, and didn’t have the contract confirmed until Friday afternoon five hours before my plane was to leave Chiang Kai Shek international airport. I rushed my ass to the airport, prop case in tow. They had bought me a ticket on China Airlines which I’d never before flown. However I had read that their past safety record isn’t exactly stellar. This was confirmed on the bus ride to the airport when I was chatting with a Taiwanese girl who works for American Airlines. She told me the Taiwanese say that China Air crashes a plane every four years. Luckily for me they’re not due until next year.

The flight was uneventful. China Airlines appears to employ the Taiwanese women’s basketball team during their off-season. They’ve got some tall flight attendants, especially by Taiwanese standards. I arrived in Hong Kong at about eleven (I’d have flown directly to Macau but all the flights were full). Wilson my contract from the production company met me at the airport and took me to the ferry terminal where we hopped on one of the fast ferries to Macau. The ride was about an hour, after which I was ready for my bed. Alas, I was working for a production company that doesn’t appear to appreciate the importance of rested performers. Instead of to the hotel, they took me to the venue where I was to demonstrate my skills to the people who had hired the company to book the event.

Let me fill you in on the event details. Macau is growing quite quickly. China Overseas Development Corporation is in the midst of building a massive, incredibly ritzy real estate complex. The Christmas party was to thank those individuals who had purchased units in advance. There was a band, a Cantonese pop star of some description, a guest appearance by some Hong Kong television celebrity, and myself. It was all hosted by a Hong Kong radio personality. The company is VERY detail oriented. I kid you not when I say that they had four people washing the fountain in front of their building with TOOTHBRUSHES.

So it was at 2:30 in the morning, after flying from Taipei to Hong Kong and taking a ferry to Macau, that I was to demonstrate my skills to representatives of the Chinese Overseas Development Corporation. Needless to say I wasn’t pleased, and I tried to make it obvious without being rude that at 2:30 am after traveling from another country I wasn’t prepared to do a show, nor would it be possible to approximate a performance situation without an audience. Regardless I showed them a few things and gave some ideas as to what my portion of the show could consist of. They made up their mind as to which bits they wanted me to do and took me to the hotel. I got to bed at 4. The mosquitoes kept me up until 5.

The next day was a blur. It started with me going to a tailor to make me some stilt pants (the people who hired me REALLY wanted me to walk on stilts). Then I went to the venue, warmed up, worked on the stage a bit (it was way too small) and waited for show time. After the audience arrived I did about 7 minutes of stilt walkabout to please the boss man. During the show they were constantly giving away prizes like Sony PSP’s, DVD players, stereos and whatnot. I couldn’t help but think that anyone who can afford to buy a H.K$3 million condo doesn’t need a free PSP. My bit was a technical devilstick routine which went over well, an interactive ring piece with a kid from the audience, and an interactive club juggling bit with a few volunteers. It went fine. I learned that rich Chinese people make the most boring volunteers one could possibly have in a show, but overall it was fine.

After the show the folks from the production company took me to a restaurant to celebrate. It was some sort of Tai/Cantonese restaurant. We had a few seafood hot pots which were absolutely incredible. I’ve never seen so much seafood in one dish. It was cooked at the table in a deliciously spicy sauce. Interestingly the restaurant staff brought all the dishes and a pot of just boiled steaming water with some tongs. The guests wash their own dishes at the table in the hot water, I guess its to assure them that their dishes are indeed clean. Hampson, the boss man from the production company, bought a few bottles of really strong rice liquor of some sort which we were all forced to drink in toast after toast. This continued until I was more drunk than I’ve been in a very long time, and Wilson my contact at the production company fell off his chair. After Wilson fell off his chair he and Hampson had to have a drinking contest so that Wilson could save face, and demonstrate that he was still in control of his faculties (which he certainly was not). I got to bed too late.

I spent the next afternoon in Hong Kong. I had a look around in an antique market where I got a few souvenirs. I also stumbled upon some ridiculously cheap clothing sales where I picked up a few things. Then I strolled downtown to have a look around. I heard chanting in the distance and remembered that Sunday was the final day of the WTO meeting, and thus the final day of the anti-globalization rallies. I quickly shoved my bag full of low-wage labour produced clothing out of sight and tried to look more like I hate the man. The night before there had been quite violent riots, and I didn’t want my Kenneth Cole bag and Donald J. Pliner shoes to get me in any trouble with the rent-a-mob. The demonstration I stumbled upon turned out to be by the Filipino migrant worker’s association. I listened to some chanting, and watched a traditional dance. The demonstration taught me that Hong Kong has a lot of Filipino domestic workers, and that they think the WTO should ‘go down.’

I flew home last night, late and tired, but overall happy that I’d gone.

Posted by Ryan at 12:07 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I'm going to Macau this weekend to do a corporate Christmas show. I'll be back Sunday or Monday, hopefully with some photos to post.

Posted by Ryan at 03:32 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I’m in my second term at NTNU’s Chinese Language and Culture Center. As many of you know I originally opted for the intensive classes as I reckon more tutelage must be better. There aren’t many intensive classes as the majority of students choose the two hour/day versions. That said, the school is actively promoting three hour intensive classes. Last term my class had 6 students. I reckon that is a reasonable number of students for a language class. This term I showed up after the break to discover my class had eleven students. Not only was this too many students for the teacher to instruct effectively (ie. it slowed the class down way too much), but we barely fit in the classroom.

The school’s documentation says intensive classes are limited to eight students, so I sent an email to the administration the day after classes started, bringing the issue to their attention. Their response was that I should pay extra to have private lessons. This wasn’t acceptable, so I went in person and stated my case in a kind but firm manner with the head teacher. This began over a week of dealing with the office employees of the CCLC who are infamous with both students and teachers alike as lazy, at times rude, and often bordering upon useless.

They kept telling me that they couldn’t find a teacher for another class. They said they wanted to split the class but we’d have to wait for another teacher. I went every day to hassle them. It got to the point where I had to delegate the hassling to other students as the office staff was becoming exasperated with my perseverance. I’d learned that the best way to get results when dealing with these people is to make it obvious to them that you have an issue and won’t go away until it is resolved. By the end of the week the whole class went to the office en masse to demand that we be split. It was during a class break, and I reckon the office staff knew we were coming as they were nowhere to be found. We waited until after the break ended. About five minutes after we were meant to be back in class the staff came trickling back in, rather surprised to see an entire class of students standing around waiting for them. They acquiesced and agreed to split the class on Monday.

So this week I started with my new class of five students. We’re progressing more quickly, and I am again content at the CCLC. I don’t mean to give the impression that it isn’t a good school. It is. The teachers I’ve met are all well-meaning, well-trained and personable. The facilities are good. The other students are friendly. It just resembles many other Taiwanese institutions in that the level of ‘customer service’ I’ve come to expect as a North American is lacking. That said, we North Americans are spoiled. I remember often feeling a similar way in England, New Zealand, and many other countries. This isn’t to say that these countries don’t have excellent customer service at times. It is just that, overall, North American firms, for numerous reasons, consistently place customer service higher on the list of priorities than firms from many other regions.

Posted by Ryan at 12:59 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I've got some posts I want to write, but I'm a bit too busy right now. In the meantime here is a link to a video of a show I did almost two years ago. It was filmed in Halifax. If you're looking for something to do you can watch it.

Warning: it contains some adult language, and is quite long http://www.ourmedia.org/node/81291

Posted by Ryan at 01:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I've spent most of today fixing this puppy up: www.ryanwhalen.com/gallery/. The navigation is a bit wonky. For some reason I can't make it scroll backwards and forwards from every image. Nonetheless it is vastly superior to what I was using before to display my images.

Posted by Ryan at 12:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I call it the foreigner nod. I get it from other foreigners as they walk past on the street. Not all foreigners give it. I’d say slightly fewer than half of those who notice me show their recognition. Guys give the nod, girls give a slight smile. While I’ve lived in quite a few places, Taipei is the first place I’ve lived as a visible minority. I’m curious as to whether or not this ritual is practiced elsewhere, and if so to what extent? Do Chinese students in Canada nod to each other as they pass on the street? Do the Japanese in Europe show their solidarity with one another as their tour buses pass?

I don’t give the nod, unless it is given to me first. I find it awkward nodding at people just because both they and I are foreign here. Why should I nod? I don’t go around randomly nodding at people when I’m elsewhere, why should I start here? Furthermore I think the expat community needs no more solidarity than it has. The majority of foreigners I’ve met live in an insular world, socializing with other foreigners and patronizing foreign owned businesses. I’d say the main conduit for integration is via foreign males dating Taiwanese females. I’d also say that “Conduit for Integration Needed” would make a good personal ad title.

While I have no problem with those who give the nod acknowledging the likenesses between their situations and my own, I urge them to not limit the way they perceive identity. It will lead, in the long term, to a more intricate appreciation for those around them, and possibly to better relations all around. Who knows, they might end up walking around nodding to betel nut chewing taxi drivers.

Posted by Ryan at 10:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

This article may be of interest to some: http://www.trinidadexpress.com/index.pl/article_opinion?id=120461363.
Dyer trys to elucidate China's perspective on the current geo-political balance in East Asia. His analysis is difficult to fault. If China's GDP keeps growing faster in relation to the USA/Japan they may be able to effectively participate in an arms race in the not too distant future. This bodes ill for those who fundamentally dislike weapons, but on the upshot it bodes well for the stock prices of numerous defense suppliers. If you're disappointed in the prospect of another arms race you can always call your broker. It might help you beat the arms race blues.

Posted by Ryan at 12:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I was surprised to read this story in today’s Taipei Times. The KMT is making a fuss about rumors that the DPP pays people to attend rallies. I found it surprising as I didn’t think the KMT would make such a fuss about a tactic they themselves use to pad their rallies. I can understand being angry if a rival party buys electoral support. But didn’t Jesus say something like “let he who hasn’t transgressed electoral law hold the first news conference?” Here’s a photo of the poster that the KMT put up at my school early in the campaign, promising to pay everyone who participates in their youth group activities.

Posted by Ryan at 06:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)